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If you have
ever wondered what cats search for on the internet, look no
further. This is your free introduction to Cat Pawrn and the
world of Cat Nips (pun intended!)
You may wish to mark this page with
your scent so that you can return here often.
 
[Spot the similarity?]
Jason
Alexander's famous couch poster was modelled after this
classic cat pose "the stretch". But did we get the credit for
it? Noooooo!
This pose
is normally used when some idiot human calls us from across
the room and we wish to ignore them. This irritates the hell
out them!
 
[Spot
the similarity?]
The is the
classic crotch grab which Michael Jackson adapted for his
dance routine, again without due credit! Of course, this
variation is against a corner. Let's see old MJ try this while
singing "Billie Jean".
For you younger cats out there, this
pose is used after you have been served a particularly bad can
of Sheba's Gourmet Sliced Liver, Tongue and Nasty Entrails in
Foie Gras Gravy. Do this when your human help have guests at
home. They will think you are so cute....
This
is one of
the classic poses you will see humans adopting when you jump
on their stomachs when they are half asleep in bed
- preferably on a Sunday morning when they think they can
lie in a little longer and delay your meals and toilet
service. (Expletives deleted, of course.)
You may
also see murder in their eyes but ignore this as you are
covered by the Geneva convention and protected by ASPCA
do-gooders - besides you can get under the bed quicker
than they can throw the pillow at you!
As you know Cats normally adopt this
pose when they want to effectively reupholster the living
furniture with fresh cat fur and dander. Practice staring
humans down in this pose while telepathically transmitting the
words "What?" or "F*** off" (if you are so inclined). But I
would advice against swearing as the blank stare is quite
sufficient, thank you very much.
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